A New Song
Before you read this I want to make a few things clear. The Lord is my shepherd and my blogs are consecrated to Him. I only write what He breathes in to and I don’t get to choose the topics. That being said I also have no control over who reads it so I hope that if you are reading this, you have an open heart and mind to hearing the Lord through it HOWEVER, it is not the finished works of what the Lord intends to do in the hearts and minds of His children which means there is a need for you to know that His Spirit desires to commune with you afterward as well. This writing is about the subject of healing and it is my belief that God willing, those who hear this, are being healed in the name of Jesus of things that are limiting them from the fullness of what God has for their lives. So, invite Him in to the parts of you that are hidden away for safe keeping. This will be a touchy subject. Transformation awaits. Let those with ears to hear, hear.
“Forgive them Father for they know not.” This is something that I have been thinking about a lot lately. It’s easy to forgive something when you have all of the understanding and you know where it was coming from but have you ever been shown something in the spirit, an injustice, something that was happening or has happened that absolutely does check out with being wicked, cruel, witchcraft, accusation, abuse, abandonment, control— those are just a few off the top of my head— but then it’s also revealed that they did not know? Is it truly forgiveness when you brush it off and avoid processing then turn a corner and act like it never happened at all? What about when they did know? What about the moments in life where you were hurt under a system or family structure that did know what they were doing and yet somehow you ended up there, under the authority of evil principalities that caused you wounds and now you’re wondering why did God allow this? Why would He let me end up here? Why did He give me that family? Why didn’t anyone warn me? Blaming everyone, yourself, them, God. Writing people off and dissociating with the entire situation because of what it looks like and how it feels. It seems only right because it’s unbearable and painful. Those pieces of our life become core memories. Parts we carry with us through the seasons. We start to rehearse our own stories like we sing karaoke. Someone else’s music, someone else’s lyrics, but easy to sing when the words are written in front of our face. We become these fragmented versions of ourselves, carrying around lyrics to a lifetime of rejection, betrayal, disappointment and disgrace. I know you hear me. But can’t you see?
When we continue to sing these songs that have been written by things we do not know, we are being robbed of the truth of who we are. I’m going to say it outright: the enemy is attacking our identities this way. Everything written above describes a very real, very raw mental ground that is delicate. They are valid questions we ask ourselves in our humanness but they are also pathways to cycles of despair by keeping us bound to limiting beliefs that prevent us from FULLY receiving the Holy Spirit. There are many people who will try to tell you that the minute you raise your hand in church and say a guided prayer, or burst out in the speaking of tongues or have a pastor dunk your head under water you are filled with the Holy Spirit and set free and that is a skewed perspective. The truth is that the Holy Spirit is the spirit of. TRUTH and the amount at which we receive is connected to our willingness to submit to THE truth, regardless of OUR TRUTH. There is a process, a cleansing that we go through to help us to come out of agreement with the things that would come against the holiness of God in us. We are vessels and while God is Sovereign, His deepest desire is to love us and be with us and He knows all things about us so His timing in our journey is protecting us. There is this show I binged last summer called “We Were Liars”. I was fascinated with a trauma psychology used in the series and the Lord helped me understand some things that I would like to share. That being said, if you haven’t watched the show, I need to explain a few things.
In this show there is a group of teenagers that went to their family vacation home during summer as they always do and when they got there everything seemed normal, however, the main character Cadence, began having memories from a previous summer drop in and in those memories she started to relive some experiences that revealed some truths about some heavy things. Her mind had automatically been protecting itself by living in a false reality that blocked out the truth of what really happened and her doctor told her family that in order for her to heal properly and at low risk, they needed to let her memories get triggered through familiar situations or things that would make her remember what happened gently. The doctor advised that she be taken back to the house as if nothing had happened and through her revisiting the place again her mind would start to piece together truth. When her family had tried to give her all of the truth at once, she would go in to shock and convulse because of the severity of the experience. You see, the truth required her to see clearly the part she played in other peoples misfortunes and although what had happened was built on a foundation of good intentions and righteous anger, the outcome was tragic because of idolatry, impulsive decisions and destruction. For the sake of not ruining the show I will leave it at that but I advise anyone who is walking a walk of generational curse breaking to watch it. You won’t regret it.
The method the doctors used in this series is based on some real psychological and neurological concepts and while the show dramatizes it, I would like to teach you about them here, I know this is going to be a hefty read but stay with me. There are many pieces to this and this one is important for you to truly understand the next ones. Below are three types of neurological and psychological realities that are fully capable in a human mind that has experienced any form of unprocessed trauma either real or perceived.
1. Trauma-Related Dissociative Amnesia
In some cases, a person who experiences severe trauma may become unable to consciously access certain memories. The memories are not necessarily erased, but the brain may compartmentalize them as a protective mechanism. A lot of people will have certain ages blocked out of their memory because their mind dissociated at the time to distract itself from reality and they grew past the circumstances without ever making peace with reality. Mental health professionals generally do not try to force the recovery of traumatic memories. Instead, they focus on creating safety, stability, and coping skills, allowing memories to emerge naturally if and when the person is ready.
2. Gradual Exposure / Titration
Many trauma therapies use a principle called titration (a term often associated with therapies like Somatic Experiencing). The idea is that overwhelming a person with the full force of traumatic material can be destabilizing. Instead, the person processes small pieces at a time. The philosophy is: “Too much, too fast can retraumatize. Small pieces can be integrated.”This is probably the closest match to what the doctor seemed to be suggesting in the show.
3. Memory Reconsolidation
Researchers have found that every time we recall a memory, the brain can “re-store” or reconsolidate it. Therapists sometimes work carefully with traumatic memories because revisiting them can be emotionally intense. The goal is to help the person integrate the memory rather than become overwhelmed by it. — If you are one of my LTASH girls, this is what I am talking about in Module 3:1 “Memory Retrieval”
Now that we have gained understanding on a professional level, I want to continue this conversation by shifting in to our individual realities. I will share with you a dream that the Lord shared with me and a revelation He gave me with it. I will also share some testimony that is real and my own in hopes that it will help you see how human we are and how God loves us. He wants us to push past these barriers with Him. His Holy Spirit is PRESENT in us but as He pushes in to our memories, we have to let Him restore truth in those areas, even if it means facing parts of ourselves that we don’t want to see and forgiving ourselves and others for things we did when we didn’t know.
The dream: I dreamt I was walking in a dark rec center. There were rules in this place and while I was there I watched the workers do things with gifts that were only meant to be opened by the people they belonged to and those who were authorized to handle them with care. Certain people who knew they were meant to focus on putting things in the proper places broke the rules and went and opened up other peoples gifts without permission. They had not been given access to those things and were hiding what they were doing. In another room was a woman I was not related to by blood but she was a big part of my life. I had felt rejected by her many times in life because she had a deeper connection with my siblings than with me and I would always wonder what was wrong with me, why wasn’t I included and why don’t I feel loved by her the same way as my sisters and cousins do. After seeing both of those situations, I was led to this room that had a bunch of lids, the lids were the kind of lids that you see on kid drinks in the grocery store where they are characters from shows and they twist on the cups and can be reused. The characters on the cups were all American girl dolls. When I looked at them I was offered all of them but I chose to only take two with me, I chose them because they looked like me when I was little. I claimed them and then I was driving in a car on a journey, I remember I had a can in my center console and I was old enough to drink out of a can, but I still would put the cap with my little girl character on the can. Then I woke up.
When I woke up I spent time with the Lord. He began speaking to me about those lids. Those caps are designed to limit the flow of the drink based on what a toddler can handle. To prevent a child from choking on a flow that it can not properly intake. Then He spoke to me about the dark rec center. A rec center is a place where parents sign their kids up to spend quality time with trusted employees to be entertained with skill developing programs so they can build quality characteristics like team sports, leadership skills, conflict resolution, relationship building, time management, creativity, etc. A rec center is a place where parents should be able to trust to leave their children while they are away because the people who are trained in positions at that place have been put there for the purpose of caring for and overseeing them for purpose and when it is set up properly, the kids should become stronger and more cultivated in useful skills when they return home it would overflow into their household. This dark rec center represented a space that was designed to protect children but lacked light meaning it was absent of the Holy Spirit. It represents ministries and households without the Holy Spirit that were meant to be a safe space God could trust to help His children develop but instead, kept them in the dark, did not obey, and did not include. The workers and the woman both represented people who had been placed in life that were trusted to care for a child of God for a season while the Lord was working and in both scenarios there was a misunderstanding or unrefined worker that had caused fear or feelings of rejection at different times in life and thus introducing one to pieces of their character that were birthed through childish perspective or injustice.
The next order of business was asking Him to help me understand WHY He was showing this to me. Both of the scenarios He had presented before me were things He and I had walked through, I had already forgiven, gained clarity and moved past these mental strongholds in myself so as I continued to sit in His presence, He assured me that this was being shared with me for a bigger purpose and that the healed version of me could now give wisdom to others who are going through what I once went through. It was regarding the topics of church hurt and rejection wounds. I’m sharing this because it’s important. You see over the course of my life I have always had dreams but it was about 5 years ago that the Lord started training me in the gifts of interpretation. This is why I understand deeply the call for etiquette when you are serving. There is an order when you teach and coach others in spiritual matters. For example, I have to be yielded to the Holy Spirit when I am dealing with dreams and teaching others about them. If the Lord reveals idolatry in the person coming to me I have to be wise with how I reveal. If the Lord says I can not share what He reveals then I have to obey. If the Lord tells me to tell the truth even if it causes me to be rejected, I can not avoid saying what has been shared. Sometimes people see but are specifically commanded to say only what they see and add nothing else, this is the position of a seer. Then there are others who are commanded to speak the interpretations of the Holy Spirit in the places they are called to speak them, this is the office of a prophet. These are two different positions with two different sets of rules. Two different roles that are taught in the secret place to be used for the glory of God and yet, without the proper training, one would be rejected, pushed aside and ridiculed because they saw things they couldn’t understand. Where grace is given, grace is received. We are all just learning.
I was not just taught I was shown through experience. I had made mistakes in the adolescence of my gifts but through the developmental process I learned how God would have us lead each other. He gave me so much grace as I learned and was refined in these specific areas of my gifts because they would become tools to help me in my position, business and ministry. This is why I knew that the rec center in my dreams and even the disconnected motherly figure were all representing people who had been in position without the Holy Spirit. They represent the people the Lord was talking about in 2 Peter when He described teachers who lack understanding and so they lead, teach and guide from a surface level perspective. Our parents are our first teachers. Ministries and apostolic leadership also falls under this category. It’s regarding people in positions of worldly influence that do not lead by the spirit, they lead by the flesh or build on a foundation of their wounds. This usually presents itself as self satisfying service. Doing a “good thing” to be seen doing “good things to prove some sort of something so they can feel validated and soothe a wound that can only be truly healed by Jesus. They never cross the threshold from self preservation and survival mode so they attack what they don’t understand or refuse to submit to the rules and order by twisting scripture to devalue the power of purity and sanctification. They are described to be like “irrational animals— creatures of instinct”. They reject what they do not know, slander what is a perceived threat and by moving in to spaces without seeking understanding, they kill what was meant to be grown.
This is why many children of God who were ridiculed in fields like spiritual development, the processing of gifts, or standing for righteousness in places where patterns of unholiness are accepted end up discontinuing their developmental journey. They get questioned for their purity, persecuted for righteousness sake and ridiculed when setting godly boundaries. They no longer seek to understand because when they made a mistake instead of being given grace they were called crazy or instead of being taught what it meant to be set apart they were called “left out”. The enemy stole their eyes so they would not see life from a space of observation but instead in shame or rejection. It’s a calculated attack from the enemy to try to put development at an halt. To cause trust issues in the hearts of gifted children. And so, the question remains, why would God allow this? Well, if these teachers, leaders, mothers, wives, husbands, fathers and other places that were meant to carry the authority of Christ and help you grow into leadership and structure failed because they lacked intimacy with the Lord then you have a choice in what you believe, you were either born a victim and rejected, destined to live a life of pain OR you were born for such a time as this. You were born to break the pattern THROUGH intimacy with Christ. By actually letting Him in to the places the ones before you weren’t able to. To heal so that they can be healed. Or if this is a spiritual parent that wounded you, have you considered giving grace and seeking the Lord to determine if they needed a proper covering instead of accusation? (Genesis 9:18-28) Your cycles could be linked to the way you dishonor your physical or spiritual parents in their times of weakness all because it caused you pain in things you could not understand.
We have to determine whether we are going to go and reconcile with what was for us by admitting that we ran away when we were feeling rejected or if we are going to keep pursuing excuses for our behavior by piling on false realities and faking it till we make it. It’s okay to say, “Hey things looked scary and I ran in fear.” Or “Hey I lacked understanding and my actions were impulsive.” We have to choose to continue to pursue development when we realize the previous places were never under the proper order of Christ which means they had never been delivered and they deserve the same grace as us when we actively surrender to our own deliverance. We can be refined into tools usable to bring about change but if our reaction to discomfort is to run away or backslide to what was convenient, avoiding the pressure necessary to forge a diamond, we become unusable for special occasions. This is where women who were meant to restore their bloodline become men and women who never even try because they refuse to revisit the things that they were meant to observe. We forfeit the power of the Holy Spirit and become people who look like they follow Christ but have no actual authority like the ones written about in 2 Timothy 3:2-5, “For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, proud, demeaning, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, without love for what is good, traitors, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to the form of godliness but denying it’s power. Avoid these people.” To give up on what God called us to birth would be to abandon the call on our life and what difference is there between abandoning destiny and being abandoned when the ones who came before us lacked understanding. We can’t be LED by our failures or theirs. We receive grace and extend it. Humble ourselves and push forward.
The identity you CHOOSE is going to determine how much truth you are able to receive at an allotted time. If you keep picking up that lid with the familiarity of your childhood or immature perception, you will continue to limit the flow of the Holy Spirit in your life. He will continue to speak to you at the capacity at which you are willing to drink because He would rather have the living pieces of you than give it to you all at once and have you crumble under the weight of a truth you can’t handle. If He knows that revealing to you the full truth will send you into a self preservation mode that leads you back into sin to justify your behavior, He will let you walk slowly. He might even let you backslide for a moment and feel the LACK of His present so that He can strengthen your fear of God. Which is a deep respect not the actual act of being afraid. He wants us to respect Him not be afraid of Him. He will ALLOW delay in your promises because before you reach what it is that you desire in its fullness He wants to give you the mercy and grace to come fully into repentance about the areas of life that you were operating out of your wounds and effecting the people around you. He cares more about your eternal soul than He does about your worldly positions. “The Lord does not delay his promise, as some understand delay, but is patient with you, not wanting any to perish but all to come to repentance.” (2 Peter 3:9 ). He will reveal yourself to you in small increments and until you break the agreement with the vanity of putting on a show and moving by the validation of man, He will continue to give you little piece by piece because He doesn’t want you to perish when you realize the patterns that you have been operating in while wounded have spiritually oppressed the very people you accuse. He will let you believe about yourself whatever you need to until you can fully handle the truth, even if it makes you walk around in self-righteousness for a season that you can’t even see. His permissible will isn’t a punishment, it’s a safer alternative to spiritual death. Where you are lacking clear direction and authority is a result of the arrested development that comes with avoiding truth and healing. The delay is a result of denial but a grace for redemption.
And so, I will close this out by sharing with you the next steps for the person who is tired of wandering in circles surrounded by things that are comfortable but not truly fulfilling. What should I do if I want to surrender to the healing without delay? How do I come to the end of cycles of avoidance and step fully in to a life with open eyes and ears? How do I stop drowning out reality by chasing fleshly comfort? Ask for a new song. In the Bible, there are many chapters titled things like “Moses’ Song” or “The Song of Hannah”, there’s even a book written called “The Song of Solomon” and each of these songs are redemption stories of people who once got it wrong but were then redeemed. Many of us write our own songs from a space of rejection, impatience, unforgiveness or abandonment. We tell our story about how we made it out of the mud because we were treated unfairly and left alone. Those types of stories don’t leave room for God to come in and be the catalyst. If you saved yourself through all of your hard work, then how is Jesus your savior? If your story is written about how you overcame it all because you are so strong and you did it on your own this reveals an altar. An altar to self-preservation. Idolatry of self prevents you from truly receiving the Lord’s will and testimony that He has written for you and sometimes it is you relying on your that is delaying your progress. Each of these songs I mentioned are testimonies at how God redeemed what was misunderstood.
Moses murdered an Egyptian in defense of an Israelite and in shame he ran from home, the Lord came to Him and spoke to Him and led Him in to purpose despite the lack of understanding before. The passion He always had, that righteous anger, just needed to be tamed, it was only a weakness when the Lord was not in it and He fulfilled the call on His life even when He did not feel worthy. THAT is a redemption song, redeeming all that time he had spent avoiding purpose due to shame. Hannah cried to feeling rejected by God because she did not have a child and had to wait longer than everyone else to get what she desires but in her despair she sowed seeds in tears and the Lord met her where she was to give her a son that would serve the Lord and bring honor to His holy name. She was never rejected she had been set apart to nurture something in to purpose and as it grew into maturity she was able to surrender at the right time knowing that what she birthed and nurtured would carry impact for the Lord. THAT is a redemption song. Redeeming all that time she let comparison steal her joy. Solomon had it all in the physical and was even wise but lust was his enemy. The woman in Song of Songs was living in idolatry, she would see him coming in from judgment and let him in, she was led in to fornication every time and they were separated time and time again because instead of learning her worth and denying the flesh she used her body for things only God could complete. In her rejection she cried out feeling neglected and abandoned but after walking in a garden with the “noble man” she learned her true worth and the worth of her purity and thus she was no longer an item to behold but a woman that was to be honored and she had a greater value than the vanities of life. Thus the rejected woman became the woman that called the man higher into a life that produces lasting fruit rather than temporary satisfaction. By transforming through the love of Christ, we lead others out of the desires of the flesh too. THAT is a redemption song, revealing that the power of her purity was more powerful than her appearance or her sexual deeds ever were. Ask Him to give you your new song and not the one you rehearse when you are protecting your younger self from having those wounds reopened. Not the one where you are the savior because of what you built when you ran away from your process in your physical or spiritual youth and didn’t know. Forgive yourself because you did not know and go back to try again but this time, with open eyes and a softer heart. Press in deeper and let Him give you the healing ointment that comes with truth. It might hurt at first but deep wounds that are closed on the surface and open internally birth infection. Forgive the ones that didn’t teach you and BE TAUGHT. “Forgive them for they know not.” This applies to you too. Keep moving forward. Let God heal it all. If not for reconciliation to the people or person, to be reconciled to Him through truth. He wants all of you.
For anyone who deeply connects to this writing I encourage you to read 1 & 2 Peter. If you are local and need help understanding maybe we can have a Bible study sometime. (Women Only). While my local Bible studies and blog are free resources I also have a business that supports spiritual development and training for those led to commit to the call and seek more personal support. If you are one of my LTASH girlies, I love you and it’s a privilege to be trusted with the development of your skills and training while we wait on the Lord for what He is at work towards in your life. If you are seeking a spiritual development coach that is ordained and authorized by God to help in the avenue of spiritual gifts and coaching women in to maturity, I would be honored to walk with you. I have spaces available on my calendar but they do fill up fast. If you are interested in joining the Spiritual Development Program called LTASH,Let the Assignment Shape Her, we are now taking new students. Each student steps in to the program and is offered a seasons assessment appointment with an authorized Christian coach, either myself or a member of our team; you will then be paired with a qualified mentor to walk with you through the training material. We meet a few times a week for accountability and each woman is cared for with a unique to them system that is designed to make their process less lonely and covered by women who have made it out already. The wilderness can seem like the hunger games when we walk with people who refuse to heal, pay attention to who you’re walking with through those times.
If you are someone who enjoys the independence of a program without the added community, The Fertile Mind workshop is a great place to find curriculum, resources and a workbook that will help you discern your own season, open up your mind to the breaking of altars and strongholds, get you out of wandering and pour out wisdom in multiple matters and stretch yo into a new capacity of receiving.. It is available to anyone, anywhere and has blessed women all over the world with strategy to build and carry the prophetic seeds the Lord has given them without delay. Links to those resources can be found below and there is a space for comments to be left at the bottom of this page where you can share your thoughts, it brings me great joy to get to know you all and I am honored with the privilege of being called to this field of work. Praise God for healing and thank you Lord for the blood of Christ that covers ALL of our mistakes past, present and future. Help us to heal at an accelerated rate. Wake us up.
Love you guys,
Coach Ariel.
Strongholds to Strategy! 30 days to MOVE FORWARD! This 30-day bootcamp is designed to help you identify, confront, and break mental strongholds that have been causing cycles of delay — while equipping you with clear, Spirit-led strategy so you can finally move forward in your assignment with clarity, discipline, and execution.
A women’s only deep healing and spiritual core training program that highlights the importance of practicing biblically sound spiritual hygiene for christian women being called through sanctification and training in the prophetic realm.
Everything included in the LTASH Healing Center but with 1:1 personal coaching and mentorship with founder Ariel Franco throughout the year.
