Obedience > Sacrifice

Hey, hi it’s your friendly neighborhood people pleaser! Actually I’m a former people pleaser but for the sake of this word I’m going to take you back to the time I realized that always being there when people need you can in fact be… a sin. Before I jump into it, I want to point out that people have really taken the word “sin” and made it seem scary but to my understanding and how the way it was revealed to me through the Holy Spirit is that sin is straying from the path that has been set before you by God. To sin is to go astray from your purpose or disobey direction received from our Creator. It’s not to be feared but instead it’s meant to be recognized and repented from so that you’re able to understand the guidance you are getting from the divine. It’s not meant to scare you, it’s meant to be used to teach you. Blah blah blah I’m just going to tell you my experience and pray those who are meant to catch it, will catch it.

If you don’t understand the situation I am about to explain, I invite you to read along anyway because I don’t believe in coincidences and before I experienced it myself, I wish someone would have told me about this type of thing. Everybody has a purpose and no one is more important than another, BUT at different times throughout life, many of us will be called. I was called to a mission. I was pulled into isolation, called out by name and given spiritual gifts to help me fulfill a purpose. I received wisdom regarding an anointing in my life and through free will I accepted the call and moved forward with the Holy Spirit refining my gifts and learning how to hear God’s voice. There are many spiritual gifts but for this specific message we are going to focus on the messages I began to receive in my dreams. I felt an urge to start a dream journal and what I learned was that I was receiving insight in my sleep about events that were to come. I had a few of my dreams come to pass and I understood that this was the gift of prophecy. Over a course of about six months I had developed a relationship with God through speaking in my dreams and as I committed to learning and understanding His voice I started to receive different types of visions. Now almost two years later, I receive three types of visions, prophetic, instructional and informative. God has used this gift to communicate with me things before they happen, what He wants me to do in certain circumstances and has also answered my questions when I come to Him in prayer.

Now, how does this correlate with the difference between sacrifice and obedience. LET ME TELL YA. In accepting this calling, I have had to put pride aside. I had to forgive people who never showed remorse. I have had to turn the other cheek in situations where people have been cruel. I was asked to show up for people who hurt me and sacrifice my time and energy even when I felt like I had nothing left to give. I got comfortable in that role. Then one day I received a vision that very clearly told me that I could not go to a specific place or go to a specific person but that they would come to me for help and I was to allow them to come out of where they were before I helped them. For 16 days I obeyed and I started to see God moving in the physical. I was witnessing the reward of my obedience and it made me feel so happy to have the relationship that I do with Source. UNTIL, I got a phone call and some texts asking me to show up for this person. In that moment all I could think about was how much I wanted to see them. It’s not easy to stay away from a person you love, especially when they call you while close to rock bottom. You see in that moment I saw a cry for help and my immediate thought was to sacrifice my time to go help a person I love. In general. it pleases the Lord when you make sacrifices in the name of love, HOWEVER, not when He’s called you to be obedient. When you are in a covenant with God, you have to be obedient even when it doesn’t make sense to you. God knows what He is doing.

I went to the place God told me not to go to and surrounded myself with people God told me to stay away from. This isn’t to say that I would never be around them again but now, after my disobedience, I understand the reason I was meant to stay away. When you have an assignment the overall goal is to bring glory to God. I am not the one meant to save anyone, I am meant to be obedient and do as I am called so that God can show up and do what He needs to do. When I went and prevented that person from hitting rock bottom, I delayed God’s plan. Notice I said delay. Disobedience does not mean denial, it does however, delay the process. After that day I didn’t hear from God for a while. I was humbled almost immediately. My feelings ended up hurt and the outcome of my sacrifice was not what I had thought it was going to be. My call to be obedient was more important than my sacrificial character. I spent the next few days beating myself up for not listening to God. I was disappointed in myself and moping around feeling as though I failed at my purpose. A few more days passed by and I still hadn’t felt the presence of God like I usually do. My gifts had felt dormant and I shifted my focus back to my relationship with the divine hoping I would start to receive direction on how to fix my mistake.

Six days had passed since I fell into sin (strayed from my path). I went to Barnes and Noble to go bible shopping with a very close friend of mine who is also gifted and close to the Lord. While we were choosing our bibles I confessed my sin to her and told her how I had recognized where I went wrong. I openly spoke of my disobedience and even went as far as to say, “I know God can feel my heart and I just hope I didn’t miss my mark. I’m so sorry for disobeying. I’m praying my gifts come back and I haven’t failed Him". She shared encouraging words and we went to sit at the coffee shop and share a conversation. What happened next had us both nearly in tears. We focused our conversation around our personal relationship with the Holy Spirit. I won’t be able to put into words exactly what that experience was, all I can say is that both of our gifts activated in that moment and we watched the Holy Spirit give us confirmation about each of our journeys. We had both received answers we were seeking as well as comfort in knowing we were exactly where we were supposed to be. Confessing my sin to a righteous woman who has a heart that prays for my healing instantly changed my world. I immediately felt gratitude for God’s grace and mercy because even though I had fallen, He was right there waiting for me to get back on track.

See God wasn’t looking for my sacrifice, he was looking for my obedience. It wasn’t until I truly repented and felt remorse in my heart that I started to hear from the Lord again. It wasn’t until I poured out my truth to a fellow sister in Christ that God answered me. He had never left me He was just waiting for me to learn the lesson. I don’t know who needs to hear this but do not let thoughts of failure make you believe that God has walked away from you. He is waiting for you to come to Him boldly about your position so He can correct you and guide you properly. I hope someday to be able to revisit this specific story and share with you how God still showed up and made a way but that will be released when I am guided to share. Some parts of our callings are meant to be kept between us and our Creator until they come to pass. As for now, I leave you with this, just like a parent takes away our privileges until we learn a lesson so does the maker of our souls take away our gifts until we show Him our repentance. It’s okay to stumble, you haven’t failed. Do not be afraid to confess. I love you guys and hope this finds those who need it.

James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for each other that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

1 Samuel 15:22 Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams. (Hearken means to listen. In this verse the latter part is referring to God’s preference of us listening to his direction rather than presenting him with a sacrifice which in the old testament would look like presenting an animal before Him.)

Until we meet again,

Xoxo Ari